While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm passing your future prison.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
