This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
