My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
