i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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