If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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