biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
