I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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