butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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