Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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