he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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