I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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