Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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