I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
