So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
