so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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