I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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