Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize