just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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