I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
