brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
