Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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