I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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