when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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