So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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