who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize