Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
