sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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