I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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