I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
