I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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