Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
