imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
