There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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