Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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