next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
