a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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