Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
