do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
