Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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