There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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