so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Randomize
