I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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