Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This can only be settled by a dance off.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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