just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
