hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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