dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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