Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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