i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
