I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
