Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
