if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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