so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
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Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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