I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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