Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
