she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
