Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
