We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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