You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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