I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
