Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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