dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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