i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
