Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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