She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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