How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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