did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
