Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i dont even know how to be here
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
